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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?