🔗 Share this article

“Well, the situation is pretty dire here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to commit their entire holdings into preserved goods and firearms.” This piece of shrewd guidance comes from the Brain Gremlin – a lab-engineered, articulate, spectacled member of the oozy monster mob that swarms Manhattan’s ultra-modern Clamp Tower skyscraper in filmmaker Joe Dante’s unhinged continuation Gremlins 2: The New Batch. On the surface, it’s merely an financial suggestion from one monster to another. But, oddly enough, it’s also pretty solid life advice. Honestly, hear me out.

When life takes a turn for the worse, the worst thing you can do is approach matters with excessive gravity. The Brain Gremlin grasps this. In fact, a large portion of the fang-bearing creatures that populate Dante’s chaotic 1990 feature (arguably his best) possess the same sly, self-aware funny bone regarding the hazy boundary separating everyday life and absolute bedlam. It’s a particular aspect of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that ensures my return – and with the passage of time, it’s the message that resonates the most.

A Childhood Obsession

Of course, my attachment to this movie wasn’t born on such an introspective level. Growing up, we were limited to a few battered VHS tapes at home. Included within that collection were Gremlins and its second chapter, the latter housed in a bulky previously-rented case probably bought from an independent video outlet and boasting snarling creatures on its knackered cover. I was instantly captivated and these films quickly proceeded inserting themselves inside my young, susceptible psyche. After that point, they became an almost-daily part of my childhood viewing routine.

Dante’s first film typically gets all the accolades, thanks largely to its status as a semi-scary seasonal fave – and to be fair, I’ve watched Gremlins an incalculable number of times. However, its successor rarely gets the same level of high regard, which feels a travesty. As a kid, I’d invariably jump at the prospect to watch Gremlins 2. During sunny school summer breaks, I’d retreat into the house and pop it in. When I obtained my very own TV-VHS combo unit, it stayed in constant rotation in my bedroom. Gradually, it became deeply rooted in my psyche. If my parents detected this preoccupation, they appeared unbothered.

Subtler Discoveries and Societal Easter Eggs

As I matured, new insights rewarded frequent screenings, elevating the fun of watching diminutive verdant beasts happily vandalize a New York high-rise. I learned the future-focused property magnate and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was inspired directly by future president Donald Trump, with his red-headed employee Marla (Haviland Morris) alluding to his former spouse Marla Maples. Luckily, Clamp demonstrates more humanity than his real-life counterpart.

The “end of civilisation” video Clamp plays during peak-Gremlin chaos? I discovered it was based on a actual “Doomsday” video created by the CNN boss Ted Turner should the world actually met its demise. I noticed how Dante went out of his way to film varying versions of a meta sequence where Gremlins take over the exact movie you are viewing. One for cinemas, a separate one for tape and broadcast, each offering a winking bit of fourth-wall-breaking cultural alchemy prior to the concept being mainstream.

A Persistent Influence

While it was effects expert Rick Baker’s wonderfully grotesque creatures that drew my gaze as a child, this subsurface richness held my interest as an adult. Eventually, I even conversed with Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation informing me he made the movie with the specific aim of mocking those who loved its silly-yet-sincere predecessor and wanted more. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he gleefully confessed. This cartoonish insubordination and commitment to not take his sequel as solemnly as his Warner Bros bosses clearly wanted him to, only made me love it even more.

When I experienced a unexpected loss in the family not long ago, I was taken aback to discover that, during my most profound sorrow, all I desired to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Strange, isn’t it? Possibly not. The soothing reminiscence it furnished was needed to dilute my mind’s grief morass – but the insights it had given me as an adult were just as useful.

Like Gremlins tearing apart a genetics laboratory, there’s some things in life you just are powerless over. Dante knows it. The Brain Gremlin shares this wisdom. Sometimes, you have to follow their example: embrace the chaos, invest all your resources into canned food and shotguns and try not to approach life with excessive gravity.

It’s strong life advice from a most improbable origin – and it’s why Gremlins 2: The New Batch will eternally stand as my comfort movie.